


(No Matter What I Say) I'm Not Over You

by sinandmisery



Series: Swan Queen AU Week [2]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-06
Updated: 2014-01-06
Packaged: 2018-01-07 19:08:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1123337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinandmisery/pseuds/sinandmisery
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For SwanQueen Week, Day 2: Divorced Lesbian Mommies // Emma and Regina have separated and Emma makes signing the divorce papers a little difficult.</p>
            </blockquote>





	(No Matter What I Say) I'm Not Over You

Emma sits alone in the dark of her apartment, boots up on the arm of the couch and now warm beer in her hand. She stares up at the ceiling as she listens to the silence, ringing louder than she could ever imagine it being. She doesn't bother to wipe away the tears forming in her eyes, knowing from months of experience that it would be pointless - once she got going, the tears would only stop when she was all cried out or had fallen asleep. Given the memories from a few hours prior plaguing her thoughts, she knows sleep will be elusive.

*

_"Ma, you know I can walk," Henry says as Emma packs the last of his clothes into his duffel bag._

_"I know, kid," she says. Henry, now approaching 15, frequently walks between his two homes, sharing dinners with his other mother even when it's not "their" night. "I just wanna see you as much as I can."_

_It's not a lie, but it's not entirely the truth either. The biggest motivator behind her desire to drop him off is just to see Regina, no matter how torturous it may be._

_"I'll come over for dinner one night this week," he says, tossing his bag in the back of her car. "Mom's working late on Wednesday."_

_Emma bites her lip and focuses on the road, tries not to think of a time not so long ago when she would have known that already, and makes her way to Regina's house._

_At the last minute, she chickens out and sits idly in her car as Henry bounds up the walkway, his gangly teenage boy legs taking him up the steps three at a time. As Regina welcomes him into a hug, she looks over his shoulder, face going stoic as she stares at Emma. Without a second thought, Emma speeds off, a dry sob wracking her body when she reaches the stop sign at the end of the street. The look was so reminiscent of their days of animosity that Emma feels her heart shatter in her chest all over again._

*

Emma sits up and runs a hand through her hair, tugging roughly when it gets caught on a few tangles before finally giving up. There are still tears forming in her eyes as she moves to the kitchen to pour the wasted beer down the drain. The green numbers on the microwave glare 12:30 back at her and she sighs, figuring it's probably time for a shower and a half-hearted attempt at sleep if she wants to be at work on time. As she moves toward the bathroom, she notices an envelope was slipped under her door and wonders how she missed it, wonders if she was that out of it on the couch.

She doesn't have to open the envelope to know it's the divorce papers Regina's lawyers had been trying - unsuccessfully, thanks to Emma's strategic evasion - to serve, so she tosses the packet on the table and heads for the shower.

*

Hair still dripping wet, Emma pads back out to the living room in her pajamas and takes the envelope, staring at it as she turns it over in her shaking hands. She pushes her glasses up her nose and opens the envelope, finally resolved to read through all the legal bullshit so she can stop hoping for a miracle and give Regina what she really wants.

There's a second envelope inside with her name on it in Regina's perfect handwriting. Knowing it's likely a persuasion to get her to sign the papers, Emma opens it anyway.

_Emma -_

_My lawyer said she tried to serve you papers for two weeks and was unsuccessful. Storybrooke is a small town, so I don't know how she missed you. Maybe it's part of your ability to find people - you can hide when you need to. Anyway, I asked for the papers and told her I'd deal with it on my own. That was a week ago and I've seen you multiple times since then, but the papers have remained on my desk, almost taunting me._

_You told me once that our best chance is together. I struggled to believe you then, but these past three months have been the hardest of my life since you came to this town, which says a lot. Every time I see you, I just want to be near you. I want to smile at you, I want to take your hand in mine again. I want to kiss you. I want you to hold me in your arms. I want to feel safe again._

_I know I'm not easy to love, but despite all the reasons you shouldn't, you found a way. Letting you walk out our door - making you do it - was a mistake. If it's one I have to suffer the consequences of for the rest of my life, then you can sign these papers and I will, but I'm hoping you'll let me spend the rest of my life making up for it instead._

_I miss you, Emma. Come home._

_Love,_

_Regina_

Emma scans the letter several times, unable to believe the words she had so desperately wanted to hear were now staring at her from the piece of paper in her hands. Ignoring the time, she grabs her keys and rushes out of the house, making the drive to Mifflin Street in record time. She runs for the door, knocking loudly and hoping she doesn't wake Henry. It feels weird to be knocking on her own door, but hopefully this will be the last time.

She shifts from foot to foot on the front porch as she waits and then a light switches on in the foyer and she hears the tell-tale sounds of a lock being opened.

"Hi," she says quietly when Regina opens the door.

Regina's eyes go wide and it doesn't escape Emma's attention that they're as red-rimmed as her own.  "Do you know what time it is?" Regina asks, but she doesn't sound angry, just defeated.

"Yes," Emma says. "Sorry, I just... I got your letter."

Regina's face remains unchanged as she looks at Emma tiredly. "You're in your slippers," she finally says.

Emma looks down at her feet then back at Regina, smiling as she remembers her rush out the door. She's lucky she is even wearing those. "So I am."

The two women stand there awkwardly for a moment, Emma's hands fiddling with the hem of her shirt and Regina's arms wrapped around her stomach protectively, holding her robe closed.

"Can I come home?" Emma asks, still unsure if she can actually trust the words on the page.

"Yes," Regina says, tears shining in her eyes as Emma steps forward and wraps her arms around her wife. "Always."


End file.
